Choices
That’s what life is made of, and that’s what my life, now, is especially made of. Choices. Decisions. I have always been the one that had no hesitations, that never looked back, but you know, the more I grow up, the more I realize that having no regrets isn’t so easy as it seems.
Because it’s easy to see past a choice, to see what you’ll gain, to know how you will eventually feel. The thing that’s not easy, it’s to realize what you will lose, either road you’ll take.
I tried to take 2 roads at a time, but time is showing the reality: it doesn’t matter how far I walk, I will always find that fork in my way.
But how is one supposed to make a decision? A smart one? The right one maybe? What if everything I thought about a person fades away in a moment, showing me that fork again? I think it will always happen. I thought I took a decision, but well, it looks like I’m not done yet.
Or maybe it’s just me, it’s just me. I never give up, never. Even in front of evidence, I never give up. But is it really just me? The point is: I’ll never know. But this time, knowing means losing. Unfortunately, I probably even know what. Is it worth the price? This, I don’t, and probably will never know.
I’ll take my time. Because I need to. Because I’m not the only one who needs to. I’ll stop walking, I’ll stand in front of that fork. And the more I stand, the more I see where each road lead to. And the more I stand, the more I see each road fading away.
I feel like both road will lead me nowhere. I’m starting to feel that this is, again, the wrong turn: time will tell.
But the problem is: my heart, that never gives up on anything, is leading me on a way. My brain, on another. And I know, my heart will prevail. And I know, my brain is right. I’ll eventually make the wrong choice, it just takes time.
And then… on the path there’s another way. But it’s hidden. I know it could be there, but I’m not sure it will. I don’t know when and where I will find it. I know where it leads till a certain point. My brain tells me is the worst decision I can take. My heart… you probably know. But I have a fear: if that way, one day, will show up, I’ll probably follow it.
I know, giving up the past is hard. But it’s even harder facing reality, when some thing show you that maybe YOU are right, and things are not like they seem. But you can’t face reality so many times. Because reality will eventually payback on you. And this time, I really can’t face things, because everything tells me I am right. But you know what? I’m stronger than reality. And I will fight it. To Death.
Dario,
hey that was a nice read, and i have some remarks for you that may be of interest, or not
There a no people on the planet without regrets. Everyone has them and everyone makes mistakes, and thats basically a part of our personal development and what we call life
Standing “in front of a fork” and thinking all the time about the direction you may want to go and checking “the best way” also isnt a way, because it hinders yourself and you obviously cannot look into the future, so its nonsense that just keeps you busy in your head while changing nothing – or said in another way: Check your current reality and DO whats best for you NOW 
Standing in front of one of these “forks” and thinking about the direction is just… thinking
I call it “virtual”, because its just a “brain simulation of what could be happen”, but its not the real deal…
Just be yourself and do whats good for you now, and dont think too much about future, because it is unpredictable by its nature… Its all part of being a human
Greetings and have a nice weekend
Jan
Why do you always tell me what I need to hear? Thanks mate